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Krokun gro-Yata


Started by Reckless2
Post #109255
Member

3
Faction & Race:
Daggerfall Covenant (Orc)
First time writing up a RP character. Feel free to ask questions and call out any critiques or suggestions! I'm open to anything and want to flesh this out as best I can before the game releases.

Hope you guys like it! Forgive the lengthiness (I have a tendency to write alot)


First name: Krokun
Surname: gro-Yata
Title: The Frostborne Orc, Frostborne
Sex: Male
Race: Orc
Age: 26
Occupation: Hunter, Bounty Hunter, a former Slave
Faction: Daggerfall Covenant

Appearance: Height – 6’9. Weight – 250 pounds. Build – Muscular. Long unkempt black hair flows freely down to his shoulder blades and the tops of his bulking shoulders. His gaping eyes, surrounded by sunken and darkened pits with a furrowed brow are piercingly cold, beady, and reveal neither kindness nor warmth. Despite his large build, his face is gaunt attributing to his bony features that protrude through the skin featuring angular cheek bones and jaw with hauntingly sunken cheeks magnified by the jagged, gruesome, and disorganized teeth that jut out from his pale thick lips. The bridge of his nose is noticeably crooked, and part of his left ear seems to have been mangled in a gruesome fashion. His thick skin reveals a pale grey tone with little color; it is easy to tell that this particular Orsimer has not felt the radiant warmth of the sun for some time. Scars big and small track across his face and torso that tell stories of enslavement and bloodshed.

Personality: Krokun’s childhood and adolescent years have heavily affected his personality and his outlook on Tamriel and its inhabitants. To the outsider he is described as cold, quiet, and grim. In fact, he is quite stoic and prefers to keep to himself and his thoughts. He is driven to learn more about his bloodkin, stronghold culture and Malacath worship. Krokun is compelled that he has been robbed of his heritage since he was raised in a culture of men, so he feels that he owes a debt to himself to return to the way of his people. He finds satisfaction in intellectual pursuits including alchemy, as well as a sense of family, but his strong sense of independence leaves him reluctant to share his past and even his own name, especially with men. He despises slavery and harbors a distrust for Nords and would rather band with his bloodkin, elves, or Redguards in battle. He is direct in his speech, and oriented to the task at hand.

Backstory: Krokun was born into slavery after generations of slavery in Skyrim. His ancestors were taken as prisoners of war after the destruction of Orsinium; Krokun is a product of a lost culture and a broken race. He was raised early on by his mother, he did not have a father and knew nothing about who he was or where he is now. At a young age, he was quickly put into service by his Nord masters who lived in a small village no more than the size of a very large family. Out of fear of the Orsimer, his masters did not show love to Krokun and rather treated him discriminately and harshly, occassionally beating him if he was out of line. The Orcling naturally retaliates with violence but is followed shortly by more cruel methods of punishment. Many of the other children were frightened by Krokun so much of his childhood was spent alone. When he is able to sneak off, he would spend his spare time wandering in the wilderness, collecting plants and herbs, and spending time with his mother listening to stores of old when Orsinium still stood.

When Krokun was 12, his masters decided to separate him from his mother to by selling the Orcling off to a traveling merchant. Even though he resisted as hard as he could, a hard strike to the back of his head rendered him unconscious, and was then thrown into a caravan heading east. He was circulated throughout the different reaches of Skyrim as a slave for hire but no one saw the use of buying a half-starved Orcling without the skill of crafting weapons or armor, other times the buyers were frightened of his beast-like appearance and wouldn’t dare buy him for the set price.

One day while Krokun’s caravan was traversing the Druadach Mountains towards Solitude, it was overtaken by a group of bandits. The drivers were quickly killed, their food and goods pillaged, and the slaves forced deep into the snowy mountains towards the bandit camp. The male slaves became hard laborers and unwielding opponents in combat practice, the females were raped and then killed off. The bandit group, named Blue Wolf, was filled with men deemed as criminals, degenerates, and outcasts. They rape, pillage, and murder nearby settlements and travel throughout the mountain range to avoid arrest. For years on end Krokun stood out to the group as the youngest of the slaves, and unfortunately for him, the only Orc. Because of this he was deemed as the Orc-pet. During the day he was often forced to fight his fellow slaves in pitted fights for entertainment, sometimes to the death. Other times he was used as a target opponent for the bandits to practice on. If he was ever on the verge of harming a member of the group he was quickly beaten unconscious by the rest of the men. At night, Krokun slept outside in the snow while chained to a pike with his hands bound. Years had passed in this similar fashion, and the young Orc did not emerge without lacerations, illnesses, and broken bones. Hanging only a thread of self-dignity, Krokun slowly began to lose is former sense of identity. Maybe this was his destiny, maybe the Orc-pet was meant to live and die as boot scum to the bandits who chained and beat him.

In his middle teenage years Krokun’s strength and prowess in close combat began to grow remarkably faster than the men had expected. The Orc flinched less at pain and whimpered quieter when his masters mercilessly strike him with rods and clubs, his fists struck harder and faster, and his harsh living conditions in the Druadach Mountains ceased to disturb him. Life started to become a little easier to Krokun. The bandit realized they had a predicament on their hands and decided to invest in their newfound opportunity by giving their pet a new set of responsibilities: bloodshed. Krokun was then encouraged by his masters to learn their savage Nordic style of combat wielding unsharpened but hardy blades, axes, and shields, as well as hunting/tracking techniques from the scouts. Krokun began to favor wielding war axes in each hand and found that patches of armor were most advantageous for mobility and protection. As soon as the Orc was able, he joined the bandits on their raiding trips reluctantly at the age of 18. With each passing attack against caravans, villages, farms, and Reachmen campsites, Krokun began to resemble the very Nords in style of combat and he even looked like them when completely shrouded in armor. In time he soon gained the faint reputation by locals as The Frostborne Orc. Strangely, Krokun began to feel indifferent about his victims, and sometimes would swear that his victims possessed the faces of the slaves he killed at camp; sometimes it was his own. The Frostborne Orc felt a dark possession that he had become like his sadistic masters. Soon he became confused at his mental transformation and harbored a deep hate.

As the years went by, an aura of cold bitterness and silent fear surrounded the Frostborne Orc quickly that even the newly pledged bandits of Blue Wolf started to fear getting too close to him at camp. Many times the bandits left him alone while obtaining new slaves to do their bidding. As long as the Orc still killed for them while they pillage they saw no reason to attack. Krokun’s mind was splintered with anger with a conditioned sense of obedience to Blue Wolf, such emotional conflict manifesting in butcher-like methods of execution. He remains silent in combat without uttering a word. Many times he is described as a dark and ominous figure of piercing eyes always sharpening his weapons at camp, and restlessly waiting for the next kill. Each time a Blue Wolf member would approach him he is resentful and impatient. Soon enough he started to plot on how to make his escape from this miserable life.

During a raid at a wealthy mercenary cabin two years later near the Reach, the ensuing battle left a remarkable number of bandits dead with only a few left to return back to camp. The Frostborne Orc knew now was the time to act and joined the bandits in the central room of the cabin. The remaining men checked for goods and gold but couldn’t help but sense the Orc locking his eyes on them from behind. They felt a chill of fear up their spines but knew that he had finally turned. They drew their clubs and axes and charged at the Frostborne Orc. Each strike and splash of blood and flesh made the Orc clench his teeth and growl in pain, but he stood his ground and could only think of how close he was to freedom. He cleaved his axes in a downward arc into one's neck, caught a club in midstrike of another and bared his teeth on another bandit’s neck, gushing blood and skin as he tore through the man’s jugular vein. The last bandit, horrified by the savagery he witnessed froze as his two comrades bled to death, one butchered by axes, another by a gaping bite. Krokun wearily looked at him with blood dripping from his chin, and as quickly as he could pounced on him with both massive hands around the man’s neck. As he landed, the Orc snapped his neck with a grotesque wrenching snap. Bleeding profusely and exhausted, the Orc quickly packed and exited before the rest of his masters arrived. With whatever energy he had, he ran into whatever wilderness he could find and kept running west towards High Rock.

Months after his escape, Krokun lives as a nomad travelling from place to place hunting for food, taking odd jobs and bounties for coin. He hopes to one day come across a stronghold to learn about the ways of the Orsimer, and continues on for the search for his identity. He chooses to not mention his name to make sure his presence goes undetected, but when insisted he simply says Frostborne.

Best Memory: The first time when Krokun accepted his sense of personal freedom. He paused in his travels at the top of a cliff in the vast wilderness in Skyrim near the border to High Rock. A sea of trees and distant mountains called to him ahead. The weather was bleak and raining heavily at midday, yet in the midst of the darkness of his past he begins to rise above its veil with a renewed sense of purpose. For the first time in years if ever in his life he felt in control of his own fate.

Worst Memory: During one raid in a farm near Falkreath, a young Krokun brokenly stood post outside of a room with his masters standing in line while they took turns wildly ravaging a woman in an enclosed bedroom. The screams and moans he heard for hours on end past the closed doors was too much for him to keep sane, but he knew that acting out in defiance meant certain death or a living hell, but the mixture of pain, eroticism, and violence conceived that night would continue to haunt him in his dreams. He still has nightmares of envisioning the bloody scene in that room, the door jutted open with the last man satisfied. Yet for some reason, the dream continues. He sees himself mounting the beaten and naked woman with his own. He feels a confusing mix of complete shame and pleasure as the woman cries in pain while his onlooking masters cackle and shout for him to continue. The dream ends with her lifeless body hanging the bed as she stares blankly with empty eyes.

Skills: Dual wield combat, archery, alchemy

Challenges for Character: Krokun cannot cast even the simplest spell, and is still developing a proficiency in literacy. The Orc also has an issue of knowing where to belong in Tamriel. He was raised in a culture he chooses to disassociate with and yearns for another of which he has little knowledge of.
Birthsign: The Warrior
Religious Views: None
Political Views: None
This post was last modified: October 29th 2013 12:47 PM by Reckless2
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The following 1 user likes Reckless2's post:
Horizon Seeker
Post #109341
Member

8
Faction & Race:
Daggerfall Covenant (Breton)
1. Objectively, you're background is detailed and awesome, to be honest. You've managed to steer away from creating an overpowered character, although this: "his blood spilled to the floor and pieces of flesh flew off with each swing" seems to me a bit exaggerated even with the Berserker Rage racial; bandits are chopping Krokun and he doesn't feel it. See what I mean? :P

Besides that, the only other issue is that you tend to switch from past narration to present, like here:
Quote:The bandit group, named Blue Wolf, was filled with men deemed as criminals, degenerates, and outcasts. They rape, pillage, and murder nearby settlements and travel throughout the mountain range to avoid arrest.
- First sentence is narrated in the past while the other is in the present and it just sounds very bad when you read it out-loud. I suggest you revise the background and correct all of these; there are more throughout the story.


2. Subjectively, I am a fan of concentrated background stories but that is just a personal preference. I would've instead written in less detail about how he served in slavery, how he was then sold, brought into a group of bandits and eventually having escaped. I would've given hints or small details rather than elaborate. :>


Lord Gregory Deucale
Knight-Captain of the Cobalt Cloaks of Daggerfall
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The following 1 user likes Gregory's post:
Reckless2
Post #109368
Member

3
Faction & Race:
Daggerfall Covenant (Orc)
Thanks for the input man! I see what you mean on all points and I do agree, the character story and the level of elaboration is going to need some polishing, but I still appreciate the insight.
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Post #109369
Contributor

525
Faction & Race:
Ebonheart Pact
Dunmer
A very detailed and darkly mature character, Reckless2! Quite well done for a first time character write up. You've certainly put much effort into describing Krokun with his appearance, personality, and backstory and it forms together to make a great character. I like how you've written his best memory, it feels like it has great impact as a turning point in his life after reading his backstory where he experienced years of enslavement and servitude.

As for what I think could be improved...

Gregory has pointed out the part when he finally turns on the bandits. It does appear Korkun is losing "pieces of flesh" during this moment, which makes me think he's receiving wounds that would at least horribly cripple him for life. But it's an easy fix if you agree!

Lorewise Nords don't traditionally practice slavery, and as a result it would be odd to see open slave trade in Skyrim. Perhaps the Nords who enslaved him were particularly cruel and had a more isolated estate? This way it doesn't appear uncharacteristic of nord society as it's a single exception. Or you could use the Dunmer instead, as they are known to practice slavery with nearly all races if they judge it so, though they are a long ways off from western Skyrim and you'd need to edit things around a bit.

Lastly, you mentioned he has no religious or political views. While he may not have strong or noteworthy opinions on such things, everyone has views one way or another! Religiously, does he scoff at the Divines for allowing such cruelty to happen? Does he believe his life was influenced by Malacath and his merciless ways? You could even simply say that the Divines and Daedra have no bearing on Krokun's path in life. Politically, does Krokun have a grudge against Nords due to his childhood experiences? What does he think of the Daggerfall Covenant allow Orcs to rebuild some form of Orsinium? If you feel such things are irrelevant in the character profile, you could simply exclude its listing.

In any case, great work Krokun! And I hope you're able to continue to build upon this character as TESO draws closer!


Character Profiles:
Endaros Ilmori - Buoyant Armiger
Sunrio - Aldmeri Justiciar

Taren Jucanis - Imperial Deserter (Used for The Black Shroud RP)
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Post #109686
Member

3
Faction & Race:
Daggerfall Covenant (Orc)
After thinking about it you've made a very good point. It takes a lesser stretch of the imagination if Krokun was enslaved in Morrowind; his travels back to High Rock will definitely be fun to flesh out!

To all the Orc fans out there, I've also wondered about Krokun's last name. In his story he is a descendant of a line of Orcs that bred outside of a stronghold many years after Orsinium was destroyed. After such a time I wouldn't believe that his stronghold name would've last so many years....thoughts?
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Post #109819
Contributor

525
Faction & Race:
Ebonheart Pact
Dunmer
(October 30th 2013 04:05 PM)Reckless2 Wrote:  After thinking about it you've made a very good point. It takes a lesser stretch of the imagination if Krokun was enslaved in Morrowind; his travels back to High Rock will definitely be fun to flesh out!

To all the Orc fans out there, I've also wondered about Krokun's last name. In his story he is a descendant of a line of Orcs that bred outside of a stronghold many years after Orsinium was destroyed. After such a time I wouldn't believe that his stronghold name would've last so many years....thoughts?

A journey across northern Tamriel may be pretty awesome for Krokun to experience! A perilous trip until he finally lays eyes back on the old lands of his people.

I believe regardless of if the stronghold still stands or not, the last name will remain as a form of legacy to continue. Though the stronghold may be long gone, the bloodline continues. Though if you have reason for him to discard his origins in favor of something new, I'm sure you could go with that! Perhaps, if you find it suitable to your character, after having his ancestors shamed with defeat and years of slavery he no longer wishes to be associated with their name.
This post was last modified: October 31st 2013 12:30 PM by Horizon Seeker


Character Profiles:
Endaros Ilmori - Buoyant Armiger
Sunrio - Aldmeri Justiciar

Taren Jucanis - Imperial Deserter (Used for The Black Shroud RP)
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