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Mukmoo- Men Born As Pack Animals


Started by Mukmoo
Post #108908
Member

43
Faction & Race:
Aldmeri Dominion
Khajiit
How Do I Delete Threads

-I'm re-writing Mukmoo, He's an Orc now!
This post was last modified: November 3rd 2013 10:19 AM by Mukmoo


Gone to a better MMO, soz guys, it was fun.
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Post #109830
Member

180
Faction & Race:
Aldmeri Dominion (Khajiit)
Okay there's a few things that could be improved upon:

One, your char shouldn't be the son of an important figure like the archmage or at least not have that person named, that's for the dev's to make.

Two, You said that your char was disowned for his use of illusion magic but in the backstory you said it was for stealth preference, if the former is true then that is not at all a reason for being disowned from a family of mages.

Three, I don't think that he would be accepted by a werewolf pack like that, usually werewolves that set up in caves are completely feral so it would be more likely if the pack was a nomadic group, following that I'm unsure if werewolves would accept a member because of a trial by strength, a trial of hunt would be more likely for acceptance but there is little known on matters like this and I suppose it would vary for each pack.

Four, You said that at age four he was disowned, age four is much too young to show a preference to any skill much less would he be disown-able for it,

Five, I think that saying the fight lasted for days is a bit much, one day would be the longest I'd think it would last. Also I'm not sure about is fighting skills not being questioned, rivalry is a big thing among werewolf packs I would think, the younger or less experienced wolves challenging the older and stronger ones so you should take that into account.

Also as a bit of a lore and spelling/grammar Nazi it's called the Ra'gada and the language is Youkundian I believe.


The Kynaran Order
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Post #109939
Member

43
Faction & Race:
Aldmeri Dominion
Khajiit
(October 31st 2013 01:38 PM)Took an arrow in the knee Wrote:  Okay there's a few things that could be improved upon:

One, your char shouldn't be the son of an important figure like the archmage or at least not have that person named, that's for the dev's to make.

Two, You said that your char was disowned for his use of illusion magic but in the backstory you said it was for stealth preference, if the former is true then that is not at all a reason for being disowned from a family of mages.

Three, I don't think that he would be accepted by a werewolf pack like that, usually werewolves that set up in caves are completely feral so it would be more likely if the pack was a nomadic group, following that I'm unsure if werewolves would accept a member because of a trial by strength, a trial of hunt would be more likely for acceptance but there is little known on matters like this and I suppose it would vary for each pack.

Four, You said that at age four he was disowned, age four is much too young to show a preference to any skill much less would he be disown-able for it,

Five, I think that saying the fight lasted for days is a bit much, one day would be the longest I'd think it would last. Also I'm not sure about is fighting skills not being questioned, rivalry is a big thing among werewolf packs I would think, the younger or less experienced wolves challenging the older and stronger ones so you should take that into account.

Also as a bit of a lore and spelling/grammar Nazi it's called the Ra'gada and the language is Youkundian I believe.

Thanks for the remarks, but I was intending on re-writing the backstory anyway.


Gone to a better MMO, soz guys, it was fun.
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