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The Road to Chaar (V3) - The Tales of Beor and Balgir


Started by Beor of Skyrim
Post #17419
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The Tales of Beor and Balgir
Written by Balgir Winterborn and Beor Strong-Heart themselves.




The Road to Chaar (III)


Balgir put his hand against the old wooden door, his face still red with anger and curses still hissed between his teeth. He looked back at Beor and gave him a stiff nod before he slowly pushed down the handle and pushed the door open.

'' Be ready..'' He muttered under his breath and took a step inside, quickly scanning the room. He grabbed the handle of his sword and pulled it out of its sheath and held it infront of himself. The bottom floor looked empty but there were several bedrolls on the floor and a small fireplace still burning.

''Someone is coming down.'' Beor whispered into Balgir's ear and pointed towards the stairs. They quickly hid behind some wooden barrels in the corner and watched as two men in armor, made from hide, made their way down.

''She's a pretty lass that one eh?'' One of them chuckled and poked the other one in the ribs. The second bandit sighed and spat on the ground.

''Too bad we ain't allowed to touch 'er 'till the Chief comes back..'' Both Balgir and Beor tensed up when the last words escaped the bandit's lips. Balgir nudged Beor in his side with his elbow, motioning for him to get ready. The two Bandits were now sitting on their bedrolls with their backs against the two companions, chatting loudly about last night's raid. Beor and Balgir moved closer. Beor looked at Balgir, who didn't seem to be the least nervous, which could be because he was still furious for being pissed on. Balgir gave his young companion a nod and the two jumped the bandits. Balgir thrusted his blade into the back of one of the bandits as Beor slit the throat of the other one with his dagger. Both men died on the spot and collapsed on the floor in pools of blood.

''Do you think there's more of them on the other floor?'' Beor asked as Balgir put his foot on the bandit and jerked his sword out of his fallen foe's body.

''I doubt it.. It's too quiet. But keep your blade ready.'' Balgir answered and took point up the stairs. Reaching the end of the stairs his grip around the handle tightened and he raised his shield, just in case there was still someone luring up here. But the room was empty except for a small cage in the center, with someone inside. They both hurried over the dusty floor to the cage.

''Katja!'' Beor called out at the person hiding under the blanket and sobbing.

''Step aside lad!'' Balgir commanded as he picked up a stone from the floor and slammed it against the old lock, breaking it on the first try. He then yanked the door open and Beor got inside. As soon as he put his hand on the blanket he could feel the person under tense up.

''Shh.. We are here to rescue you. Your father sent us.'' He whispered with a soothing voice while slowly pulling the blanket off.

''Shor's bones..'' Balgir muttered as Beor revealed the person. Sure enough, it was Katja, bruised and bloodied but Balgir could still recognize the daughter of Durn. She was pale and her eyes wide opened as she whimpered and tried to hide from Beor when he grabbed her and pulled her out of the cage.

''Katja, it's me, Balgir.'' The big Nord said and slowly sat down next to her. The girl burst into tears and threw herself at Balgir who put his arms around her. Beor grabbed the blanket from the cage and put it over Katja who was barely wearing anything. Beor sighed and moved himself to one of the windows to clear his head but found a fully awake camp and someone who must be the chief making his way over to the tower.

''Balgir... we have a problem.''

Balgir looked up, fearing the worst. "And what might that problem be?"

"Looks like the whole camp has awoken and gotten out of there tents, what more is that we have three of them scumbags walking towards the tower!" Beor asnwered, alarm in his voice.

Balgir froze. "The middle one looks like the leader!" Beor added.

There was a second of silence as the three of them took in the new threat in their minds. Beor noticed that they were awfuly close now...

"We gotta get down there now and ambush them unawares, it's our best chance for now." Balgir did not wait for Beor to respond, he jumped up, leaving Katja on the floor and dashed down the stairs, as fast and quiet as possible. Beor did not hesitate to follow his companion.

As the two friends got down the stairs the both took position on either side of the entrance. Beor drew his sword and unslung his shield from his back. Time for the actual fighting. They heard the men talking to each other as they came closer towards the building:

"I'm tellin' ye boss, this girl is the daughter of one of the mine owners of Chaar, we could get some extra gold outta this one." said a sleeky voiced man.

The second voice was closer:
"Hrmpf! And who told you that, Silus?" answered a gruff voiced orc, by the sound of it. Beor noted an air of authority in the orcs voice. Perhaps the leader... he said to himself.

"'T was Grok, - sir - ain't that right, Grok?" replied the sleeky voiced man, now known as Silus.

Beor tightened his grip on his blade and looked over at Balgir who was looking back at him. He read confidence and determination in the mans eyes... He seems so secure of himself, Damn - is there nothing that can shake him? Beor thought with faint amusement. Tension had built up in the air, untill it was nearly unbearable.

The man named Grok never got the chance to reply for Balgir spun around with a growl and thrust his sword through the mans chest. A strangled cry emitted from the victim as Balgir pulled his blade back out again. He jumped over the fallen corpse and slashed through the air again. Beor had turned around aswell though the small entrance was only wide enough for one person to stand in.

The leader had reacted swiftly and as Balgirs sword sliced through thin air and missed, the orc kicked the off-balanced Nord. Balgir stumbled back and tripped over the dead body of Grok. He fell into Beor who stood right behind him and they both were sent sprawling over the ground.

Beor regained his footing quickly and saw Silus charging from behind the leader. He blocked the first blow of Silus' long dagger with his shield. Beor spun around and sliced with a backhand of his sword through Silus' side. The man cried as he clutched his open wound.

Beor immediatly positioned himself behind the man and thrusted his sword through Silus' back as a finisher. The blade came out of his chest as it ran through him. Beor pulled out his sword and looked at Balgir who was now fighting off the leader.

With that one look Beor could already note that the orc was a seasoned and skilled fighter, Balgir was having a tough time parrying and blocking his opponents blows of his axe. Balgir evenly matched for once! he mused.

He ran over to aid his companion but was stopped as one of the sentries, who had held watch near the tower, grabbed Beor around the neck from behind. As an immediate reaction Beor dropped his sword and shield and struggled to get free. With no succes. He kicked the man behind him below the foot and elbowed him in the face - the bandit let go - and Beor spun around and gave him a right to his jaw. He tried to give another left but the bandit had recovered quickly and had parried the blow and answered Beor with a hard punch of his own.

Beor took another kidney shot - and the bandit followed up by tackling Beor towards the ground, which resulted in the two of them crashing into a pile of barrels. The bandit continued punching wildly at Beor and in return Beor did his best to counter and block as many blows as he could - but the mans whole weight was ontop of him. He felt the bandits thick and hairy hands coil around his neck, in an attempt to strangle him. After a few seconds of Beor trying to free himself from the deadly grip a figure loomed over both of them. And all of the sudden the bandits mouth and eyes spurred wide open, as Katja stabbed the mans back.

Beor kicked the corpse of him and he saw that the leader had a nasty cut on his shoulder. The orc was slowly retreating from of the tower as he cried out for his band in the camp for help.

Beor saw through the doorway men taking up arms and rushing towards the tower to answer their leaders call. He bolted towards the entrance and closed the door shut just before the first of the bandits reached it. Beor put his back and all his strength against the door as the bandits on the other side bashed and kicked it to get it open. The leader had unfortunanently just escaped.

"A little help here, Balgir!" Beor growled through his teeth.

Balgir looked up and spat out some blood on the ground before quickly stumbling over to his comrade and putting his weight against the door. That Orc had proven to be a tough foe and they had both managed to disarm each other. They had resorted to brawling and tumbling on the ground. The greenskin had managed to land a good hit, which Balgir's bloodied mouth proved but he had been quick to return the favor. The sound of the nose cracking under his fist made being pissed on worth it. They had dodged each other's fists for some more time before the Chief, after seeing his comrades either die or fall back he did the same and quickly made his way out the door, roaring curses as he did.

''Ugh.. Damn it.'' He grunted and spat blood once more before the bandits crashed against the door. Together Balgir and Beor could hold the door shut which the bandits quickly realized and began to chop away at the wood with their weapons. Beor barely managed to yank his head away before the edge of an axe came right through the old wood.

''What do we do?'' Beor called out over the chaos to Balgir. This was quickly turning from bad to worse and soon the door would crumble.

''The entrance is small enough for us to hold! However I doubt we can keep them off for long.'' Balgir roared and pulled out his dagger from his belt. There was a big hole in the wood now and one of what one can guess was one of the slower bandits poked his head in. Which he soon regretted as Balgir's knife sunk into his eyesocket and was twisted around. The brigand roared in pain and stumbled back and disappeared amongst his friends. Beor looked over to his friend who's face was split in a wide and bloody grin. Nothing like drawing blood to get ones spirits up.

''The upper floor.. You can close it off with a hatch.'' The trembling voice of Katja called out and yanked on Beor's shirt.

Beor let the words dawn into him as he felt another bash from the opposite of the door. "We gotta abandon this entrance and retreat to the second floor! We can reinforce the door up there!" He yelled to Balgir over the noise of the hacking and bashing.

"Hold the door, will ye?!" Beor added. Not giving his companion time to protest he took Katja by the hand and dashed up the stairs. He nearly flung her into the room in his hurry, as they reached the top. He spotted a long and thick axe handle lying on the floor next to him as he turned to go back down. He quickly picked it up. Sturdy enough.

With the axe handle in hand he descended back down where Balgir was grunting as he tried to prevent the door from flying open. His back was against the door and his face was tense and red in his effort. Just as Beor reached his companion a massive blow came from the outside, a second past wherein a flood of despair fled over him as he dreaded the door would fly open. Balgir shook and convulsed as the blow to the door landed but he just about managed to stand his ground.

"I hate to break it to you, lad, but this door ain't got much longer to go!" Balgir grunted.

Beor pushed Balgir aside and jammed the axe handle through the door handle and the latch before the next blow could land. "Come on!"
They both left the entrance and bolted up the stairs where Katja was waiting with scared eyes.

As they entered Balgir slammed the door behind shut and locked it.

Balgir sat down with his back against the wall, breathing heavily. He stared at the thick wood that was their only defense against the brigands. Luckily for them this looked like it could take many blows before breaking, enough to let them catch their breath. Suddenly the deep voice of the bandit leader called out from downstairs.

''We got all the time in the world! We can wait you out!'' The Orc roared, his comrades following by shouting insults and threats. This went on for some time, the threats becoming more colorful each time. Soon however, the shouting died out and one by the one the bandits seemed to leave the tower. Still, Balgir had no doubt that there would be at least five people posted in the room waiting for them.

''We got lucky.. Seems like their chief is smart enough to not want to fight in a stairway.'' Balgir muttered and slowly got back on his feet. Katja, who had been sitting silent in the corner ran over to Balgir had burried her face in his chest, bursting out into tears. Balgir was taken back but quickly put his arm around the young girl.

''They can't get you no more lass. We'll get you home.'' He whispered and looked over to Beor who had been nervously wandering around the room.

Beor paced over to the window slit and he glanced outside to see what the situation was like. Outside the tower Beor counted five men guarding it while the rest of the brigands returned, still full of adrenaline as they heatedly talked to each other about the situation. He also noticed the man whom Balgir had stabbed in the face, now ofcourse dead, being carried by his companions towards the dump pit of the camp. Beor looked back at the camp and saw the leader sitting on a crate while his men tended to his wounds, even from where Beor was standing he could hear the orc not being pleased about what happened.

He looked back at Balgir. He tried not to look defeaten but he felt a sense of hopelessness overcome him which he found hard to fight back. "What do we do now?" he asked his ever loyal friend. Surely he had an answer.. Balgir always had an answer, he had always managed to save them from dangerous situations.


But this time it felt rather despairing...
This post was last modified: January 31st 2013 07:26 AM by Beor of Skyrim


Clan leader of The Bromlokiir

Voth Ahkrin!
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The following 3 users Like Beor of Skyrim's post:
cadian13, Najla, Silchas Ruin
Post #17498
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good job, as usual


Bernhard the Scarred
Zeymah in the Bromlokiir clan
"winners don't win forever, and losers can play a good game"
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Post #23815
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The Thanes daughter is up!


Clan leader of The Bromlokiir

Voth Ahkrin!
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Post #30919
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Alright so I caught up on 1-3 last night! I love them, keep it up guys!



Two people with a common goal can accomplish many things. Two people with a common enemy can accomplish even more. -Mr. Gold

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Post #30940
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Thanks @Najla !

Just noticed how much mistakes there were in this story. Did my best to improve it!


Clan leader of The Bromlokiir

Voth Ahkrin!
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Post #32989
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Great job, as usual.

One point of feedback: Most of the story is told from Beor's POV. I would make it a point to stick to that rather than occasionally jumping into Balgir's head. I know both characters are protagonists, but multiple POV characters in a single scene tends to dilute the narrator’s voice.


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Post #33012
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@Grimhild

Me and Baldar the Loyal write this together. Baldars character is Balgir and my character is Beor. There is no real other way, he wants to write for Balgir and wants no one else to control him, same goes for me.

Besides, is it really that bad?
This post was last modified: February 3rd 2013 03:18 AM by Beor of Skyrim


Clan leader of The Bromlokiir

Voth Ahkrin!
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Post #33019
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(February 3rd 2013 03:18 AM)Beor of Skyrim Wrote:  @Grimhild

Me and Baldar the Loyal write this together. Baldars character is Balgir and my character is Beor. There is no real other way, he wants to write for Balgir and wants no one else to control him, same goes for me.

Besides, is it really that bad?

I know you guys write together. I've read several of your stories. They're not bad at all, quite the contrary. I enjoy them.

But by convention, yes, head-hopping in a narrative is considered bad form. Not trying to be Buzz Killington, just offering some cheerful feedback, as I have in many such threads and solicited in my own.


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Post #33023
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So, your suggestion is to do it all through one POV?


Clan leader of The Bromlokiir

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Post #33026
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My suggestion is to keep the POV character consistent, yeah. It's no big deal, but it's certainly something a professional editor would suggest (not that I'm a professional).

The omniscient narrator is very difficult to pull off effectively. Lots of articles out there on exactly this topic.

George RR Martin (Game of Thrones series, The Song of Fire and Ice) writes from many perspectives, but always only one per chapter. He names the chapter after the POV character, which is rather innovative, and he pulls it off really well. What he doesn't do is jump from head to head within any particular scene.

Again, just my 2 cents. :)


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