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The Thanes Daughter - The Tales of Beor and Balgir


Started by Beor of Skyrim
Post #23817
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The Tales of Beor and Balgir
Written by Balgir Winterborn and Beor Strong-Heart themselves


The Thanes Daughter


It was a pleasantly warm evening in Seconds Seed when Balgir and I arrived in the great city of Solitude. The stars already shone out bright, and the moons were on full display in the sky. We had come to the city of Haafingar for the old steward who lived in the Blue Palace. Now ofcourse, normaly these noble snobs wouldn't let us wandering dogs of the lands into such a place. But fortune was on our side and the steward had told the guards that were on duty that we were coming and they let us in.

You see, we had gone to a scholar in the Rift a few weeks before that. Now this scholar claimed to know certain things about the Bromlokiir. He claimed that he could tell me things, and he kept to his word. He could. Though, a certain tome held the actual stories and recordings of the clan of which this scholar was talking about. The book was written by the old Bormah Jorvík the Wise back in the first era! And the steward of the Blue Palace in Solitude kept this tome for himself, for some reason. So, me and Balgir decided to retrieve it from him.

There we were.. In the luxurious Blue Palace, sitting in expensive chairs with luxurious tapestries and other riches covering the walls and floors around us, waiting to be summoned by the steward. As we sat there, waiting and chatting, one of the more important thanes passed by with his small party. Apparently he was looking to speak with the Jarl on important matters at hand. Among his two guards he had brought along his daughter. Aye, a fine looking girl she was! As they passed she looked at Balgir and he gave her a wink which made her blush. Haha!

After some time a servant called me to the stewards chambers, I had been summoned. Balgir mentioned something about having a look around the castle and he walked off as I left him. The steward was a sleek man, short, kinda mousy - seemed to be more of a half-blood than a nord. It came down to the man wanting to negotiate over a price over the book! While it belongs to my clan! However, I kept my dignity - remembering what my father taught me - and came down to a fair price after negotiating with the half-blood for a good hour. The steward said something about having to grab it from the library and left me outside of his room waiting.

I noticed that Balgir hadn't come back yet. I would have to find him later. It wasn't long untill the Steward came with the book. He handed it over to me and we had some small talk on certain other books and stories untill all of the sudden a loud bang was heard...

Balgir crashed through a nearby door with only - what seemed to be - an oversized hankerchief around his middle. He looked around hastily taking in his surroundings before his eyes fell on me next to the equaly bewildred steward.

"We've got to get the hell out of here, lad!" Balgir said with a serious urgency in his tone. "What in Oblivio-" I started. "No time to talk lad! By Shors balls we've got to get out of this place!" he said with a look of trouble on his face. Then I heard the shouting of the guards as they rushed from behind Balgir and from the corridors left to us. Balgir didn't hesitate any further and ran! "Run, lad!" he yelled! From behind the cursing guards who started the chase came the girl I recognised as Hannah Glory-Song, the thanes daughter, with only the linens of her bed covering her! "Don't hurt him!" she wailed out after them.

And before I knew I found myself running alongside my friend with the Haafingar guard hot on our heels. Through the main doors we went, past the guards on duty there. Who seemed confused on why we were running like dogs from a fire, but that all became clear when they saw another dozen soldiers and a blazing thane coming through the door after us - and they too joined the pursuit. As we sped out the inner court and into the streets of the main city, the people who were still up and about screamed and yelled at the naked man running past them. Mothers covered their childrens eyes, the girls blushed and giggled and the men pointed and laughed.

"Make way! Coming through!" Balgir cried out as I ran next to him. We had ran into the Market squire and Balgir knocked over a man carrying a crate of wares and nearly fell into a market stall that was being cleared away by its owner. The shouts of the city guard were awfuly close now. I allowed myself a glance over my shoulder and saw a furious thane Eddard Glory-Song leading the chase party. "Violator of daughters! Scumbag! Halt!!" he bellowed.

"No thanks!" Balgir roared back with a grin on his face. They were awfuly close now, any mistep could mean them catching us! Shor knows what kind of punishment we could get. I had to do something fast! But what? I spotted a stack of barrels infront of us. They were stacked on top of each other, held toghether by only a rope net. Without further thought I drew my sword and as we ran past it I cut through the rope net! The barrels rolled of each other and fell onto the guards who were hot on our heels. Curses and grunts were heard as the barrels toppled over them.

We neared the main gates of the city, finding them closed infront of us. "Damn it all!" I cried out. "To the ramparts, laddie!" just as Balgir turned around to sprint towards the stairs leading up to the cities walls he bumped into a man and a woman coming out of the nearby inn. The woman screamed and the man seemed equally shocked. "What! Never seen a naked man before?!" Balgir asked them. "Come on, let's go!" I said, ushering my friend to get moving. We sprinted towards the stairs leading up to the ramparts as the men drinking outside the inn laughed and jested as we ran by. We dashed up the stone stairs, up on to walls and tried to find a way to jump over the rampart without hurting ourselves.

"It's too high!" I yelled to Balgir, but he had spotted something below us. "We've got to jump into that dung pile over there!" my eyes fell on a massive pile of excrement that Balgir was pointing at. "I'm not going to jump into a damn shit pile, Balgir!"

"We've got no choice! There ain't nothing else down there." he yelled back. I heard commotion behind us and I saw what seemed to be the whole Haafingar guard storming up the ramparts behind us. They were coming from both sides. Upfront was the furious thane, brandishing a big iron war axe. "Now I've got you, you blasted dog!" Balgir didn't need to be told more, with one hand clenching his noise he let out a roar and jumped off the wall and landed with a sickening sound into the pile of dung. Disapearing in it completely.

I looked down at my sword in one hand and the tome in the other. I won't be able to fight myself out of this one... "Damn you Balgir!" and with that I jumped after him.

It hit me like... well, like a massive pile of shit. Out of the dung we came, completely covered from head to toe. The first thing I did was vomit up everything I had eaten that day as I staggered out of the heap of dung. I can't remember how but we started running again as the guards up on the walls cursed and yelled after us. Ran and ran we did. Thank god they didn't send hounds after us because they could've smelled us in a ten mile radius. The rest of the night we spent bathing in the river that ran through the nearby forest. I sure made Balgir pay for all my drinks for the next two month for what he put me through. The next evening however we laughed as hell in the tavern that was down the road, leading south.


As for Hannah Glory-Song... Well she sure got a good hearing from her father!
This post was last modified: June 18th 2013 02:22 AM by Beor of Skyrim


Clan leader of The Bromlokiir

Voth Ahkrin!
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Post #23823
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I could see you two getting into trouble like this! Fun read.



Two people with a common goal can accomplish many things. Two people with a common enemy can accomplish even more. -Mr. Gold

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Post #23825
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135
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(January 15th 2013 06:38 AM)Beor of Skyrim Wrote:  The Tales of Beor and Balgir
Written by Balgir Winterborn and Beor Strong-Heart themselves


The Thanes Daughter


It was a pleasantly warm evening in Seconds Seed when Balgir and I arrived in the great city of Solitude. The stars shone out bright, and the moons were on full display in the sky. We had come to the city of Haafingar for the old steward that lived in the Blue Palace. Now ofcourse, normaly these noble types wouldn't let us wandering dogs of the lands into such a place. But fortune was on our side and the stewards had told the guards that were on duty that we were coming and they let us in.

You see, we had gone to a scholar in the Rift a few weeks before that. Now this scholar claimed to know certain things about the Bromlokiir. He claimed that he could tell me things, and he kept to his word. He could. Though, a certain tome held the actual stories and recordings of the clan of which this scholar was talking about. The book was written by the old Bormah Jorvík the Wise back in the first era! And the steward of the Blue Palace in Solitude kept this tome for whatever reason. So, me and Balgir decided to retrieve it from him. Beor paused to have another sip of his mead to wet his dry throat from speaking.

There we were.. In the luxurious Blue Palace, sitting in expensive chairs with luxurious tapestries and other riches covering the walls and floors around us, waiting to be summoned by the steward. As we sat there, waiting and chatting, one of the more important thanes past by with his small party. Apparently he was looking to speak with the Jarl on important matters at hand. Among his two guards he had brought along his daughter. Aye, a fine looking girl she was! As they passed she looked at Balgir and he gave her a wink which made her blush. Haha!

After some time a servant called me to the stewards chambers, I had been summoned. Balgir mentioned something about having a look around the castle and he walked off as I left him. The steward was a sleek man, short, kinda mousy - seemed to be more of a half-blood than a nord. It came down to the man wanting to negotiate about a price over the book! While it belongs to my clan! However, I kept my dignity high - remembering what my father taught me - and came down to a fair price after negotiating with the half-blood for a good hour. The steward said something about having to grab it from the library and left me outside of his room waiting.

I noticed that Balgir hadn't come back yet. I would have to find him later. It wasn't long untill the Steward came with the book. He handed it over to me and we had a talk about certain other books and stories untill all of the sudden a loud bang was heard...

Balgir crashed through a nearby door with only - what seemed to be - an oversized hankerchief around his middle. He looked around hastily taking in his surroundings before his eyes fell on me next to the equaly bewildred steward.

"We've got to get the hell out of here, lad!" Balgir said with a serious urgency in his tone. "What in Oblivio-" I started. "No time to talk lad! By Shors balls we've got to get out of this place!" he said with a look of trouble on his face. Then I heard the shouting of the guards as they rushed from behind Balgir and from the corridors left to us. Balgir didn't hesitate any further and ran! "Run, lad!" he yelled! From behind the cursing guards who started the chase came the girl I recognised as Hannah Glory-Song, the thanes daughter, with only the linens of her bed covering her! "Don't hurt him!" she wailed out after them.

And before I knew I found myself running alongside my friend with the Haafingar hot on our heels. Through the main doors we went, past the guards on duty there. Who seemed confused on why we were running like dogs from a fire, but that all became clear when they saw another dozen soldiers and a blazing thane coming through the door after us - and they too joined the pursuit. As we sped out the inner court and into the streets of the main city, the people who were still up and about screamed, pointed and some laughed at the naked man running past them. Mothers covered their childrens eyes, the girls blushed and giggled and the men pointed and laughed.

"Make way! Coming through!" Balgir cried out as I ran next to him. We had ran into the Market squire and Balgir knocked over a man carrying a crate of wares and nearly fell into a market stall that was being cleared away by its owner. The shouts of the city guard were awfuly close now. I allowed myself a glance over my shoulder and saw a furious thane Eddard Glory-Song leading the chase party. "Violator of daughters! Scumbag! Halt!!" he bellowed.

"No thanks!" Balgir roared back with a grin on his face. They were awfuly close now, any mistep could mean them catching us and Shor knows what kind of punishment on our plate! I had to do something fast! But what? I spotted a stack of barrels, stacked on above each other, held toghether by a rope net. Next to the tavern a few dozen paces away. Without further thought I drew my sword and as we ran past it I cut through the rope! The barrels came loose and rolled and fell onto the guards who were hot on our heels. Curses and grunts were heard as the barrels toppled over them.

We neared the main gates of the city, finding them closed infront of us. "Damn it all!" I cried out. "To the ramparts, laddie!" just as Balgir turned around to sprint towards the stairs leading up to the cities walls he bumped into a man and a woman coming out of the nearby inn. The woman screamed and the man seemed equally shocked. "What! Never seen a naked man before?!" Balgir asked them. "Come on, let's go!" I said, ushering my friend to get moving. We sprinted towards the stairs leading up to the ramparts as the men drinking outside the inn laughed and jested as we ran by. We dashed up the stairs, up on to walls and tried to find a way to jump over the wall without hurting ourselves.

"It's too high!" I yelled to Balgir, but he had spotted something below us. "We've got to jump into that dung pile over there!" my eyes fell on a massive pile of excrement that Balgir was pointing to. "I'm not going to jump in a damn shit pile, Balgir!"

"We've got no choice! There ain't nothing else down there." he yelled back. I heard commotion behind us and I saw what seemed to be the whole Haafingar guard storming up the ramparts behind us, coming from all side and upfront the thane - brandishing a big iron war axe. "Now I've got you, you blasted dog!" Balgir hadn't to be told more, with one hand holding his noise he let out a roar and jumped off the wall and landed with a sickening sound into the pile of dung. Disapearing in it completely.

I looked down at my sword in my one hand and the tome in the other. I wouldn't be able to make fight myself out of this one... "Damn you Balgir!" and with that I jumped after him.

It hit me like... well, like a massive pile of shit. Out of the dung we came, completely covered from head to toe. The first thing I did was vomit up everything I had eaten that day as I staggered out of the heap of dung. I can't remember how but we started running again as the guards up on the walls cursed and yelled after us. Ran and ran we did. Thank god they didn't send hounds after us because they could've smelled from a ten mile radius. The rest of the night we spent bathing in the river that ran through the nearby forest. I sure gave Balgir a black-eye for what he put me through but the next evening we sure laughed as hell in a nearby tavern that was alongside the road down south.


As for Hannah Glory-Song... Well she sure got a good hearing from her father!

Quite nice story.


Zeymah of the Bromlokiir. Voth Ahkrin!
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Post #23858
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Thanks!


Clan leader of The Bromlokiir

Voth Ahkrin!
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Post #23862
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LMFAO That was hilarious. First Balgir gets pissed on and now this... The troubles the womanizer gets into
Good job once again Beor, and i assume Baldar co-authored again


Bernhard the Scarred
Zeymah in the Bromlokiir clan
"winners don't win forever, and losers can play a good game"
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Post #23886
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^^ I found this so much fun to read, you should talk to Lobsel about possibly taking your stories and editing them onto parchment to make them look like pages from a journal.


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Post #24023
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@Ink, aw thanks. That's very nice of you to say and maybe I shall


Clan leader of The Bromlokiir

Voth Ahkrin!
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Post #24060
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(January 15th 2013 06:38 AM)Beor of Skyrim Wrote:  It hit me like... well, like a massive pile of shit. Out of the dung we came, completely covered from head to toe. The first thing I did was vomit up everything I had eaten that day as I staggered out of the heap of dung.

Hahaha!

Can't help but feel very pleased about this, even though you wrote it yourself :D.
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Post #24101
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@Petraeus , You! Here! On my thread! Argh I'm going to get you, tree-humper!

Haha!


Clan leader of The Bromlokiir

Voth Ahkrin!
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Post #24880
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Stay tuned for more upcoming stories!

To check out the guild, go to: http://www.tesof.com/topic-the-bromlokiir


Clan leader of The Bromlokiir

Voth Ahkrin!
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Post #25402
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Expect another story soon called: "The Flaming Tavern"


Clan leader of The Bromlokiir

Voth Ahkrin!
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Post #68977
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Did quite some editing on this one.


Clan leader of The Bromlokiir

Voth Ahkrin!
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Post #69006
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Your writing really captures the chaotic adventure of living hand to mouth on the road, but keeps it light and short. Can we expect more soon?




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Post #69017
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Thank you very much!

I hope so. Baldar the Loyal has been gone for two months now without anyone knowing where he is.. So, yeah - depends.


Clan leader of The Bromlokiir

Voth Ahkrin!
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