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A path out of the dirt.


Started by Plague_Walrus
Post #77403
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Daggerfall Covenant (Orc)
(Just some information about this. This happens after the death of Bludghul one of my old characters. This is a start to a new character for roleplaying on the forum Ogrug gro Bludghul is the son of my old Character Bludghul and this is taking place right after the death of the old Orc.)

Ogrug walked the streets drunk,stumbling into figures as they walked past. Finally he fell to the ground leaning against a wall. He took a gulp of mead and stared at the dark street ahead of him. He still wore his royal guard armor which reminded him of his better days. Suddenly he heard footsteps in the dark street in front. Ogrug tried to peer through the darkness but could not see anyone.

Suddenly out of the darkness a dark hooded figure appeared. It seemed to head straight for Ogrug. Ogrug tried to get up but his legs buckled underneath him. The figue stopped right in front of Ogrug and looked down at the Orc. Ogrug looked up at the figure and tried to look through the darkness that the hood made where a face should be."W-w-who are you?" Ogrug swallowed another gulp as if those words were painful to say."You will do" The figure said and two more hooded figures leaped from the street just as Ogrug's vision blurred and turned to darkness.

Ogrug awoke in a what looked like a cellar with his hands tied behind his back. He was seated on a chair facing the entrance. Ogrug sat for an hour thinking of what was happening. Suddenly the door creaked open and the hooded figure he saw last night walked in. This time Ogrug could see the face of the figure. A long crooked nose stood out like that of a raven this feature was accompanied by light blue eyes peering from underneath the hood above these gem like eyes were a pair of very thick brows that seemed to almost cover the eyes. The Imperial had a thin face and a pointed chin all in all this man looked like a raven Ogrug thought. "So let's begin" the cold raspy sound escaped the Imperials thin lips. "My name is Andralius and I am a friend that wants to help a coin less being such as your self in return for your strength." The Imperial croaked. "So the raven's name is Andralius" Ogrug thought staring at the Imperial.

"How do you look towards bandits? Do you see us as criminals who should die by the executioners axe or as beings who the world has rejected and left to rot." The Imperial continued "You are one of those beings my Orc friend." The Imperial moved closer. "And so a proposition. You get anything you want on any raids or projects and in return you give me let's say 40% of what you find." The Imperial let a crooked smile cross his lips, which suddenly disappeared and suddenly lunged forward a dagger in hand pressing it against Ogrug's throat. "So Orc what say you? Wealth or Death?" the Imperial yelled out as he pressed the dagger harder against Ogrug's throat.

It was a cool evening when a alert call was given in a border village between Cyrodil and Hammerfell. A band of bandits were seen leaping like wolves down the hill towards the brick and hay houses. A Orc was seen among their ranks wielding two axes. The villagers grabbed pikes and shovels in preparation to defend themselves. An hour later the Bandits are seen leaving with prizes while a destroyed village is left to burn.


Ogrug- Orc Warrior Son of Bludghul
Heceril- Altmer Vampire Lord
Frelav- Nord Werewolf
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Post #77799
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Not bad man I like it. Damn Requies is losing friends left and right lol. Well if he meets Blughdul's son he may not be so tolerant or friendly to him though he will understand some of it that is for sure. I like it man good job though my only thing is it is a little jumpy in how you go from him being given a threat before suddenly he is on a raid.

Personally as cliche as it is you could have just left a cliff hanger and then made another little short story had some bandits attack in it and him be in their midst kind of as a surprise. That's just me though still I like the descriptions and stuff they were nice especially the imperial's.


The best government is a benevolent tyranny tempered by an occasional assassination-Voltaire
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Post #77816
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Contrary to Maxx, I think you ending paragraph fits well. I would highly suggest a paragraph before to smooth out the transition from the cellar to the environment outside though. Some kind of event that affected the events of the cellar as well as outside. How did the bandits escape the city to be seen in the small village? As it is right now, your transition from the cellar to the village scene is to abrupt and leaves a large gap in inbetween.

Another creative idea you might try is taking your last paragraph and making it a prologue. Loosely detail the raid and maybe have your orc self reflect on how he got here. Then begin your story
This post was last modified: July 9th 2013, 07:27 AM by Do'Rakk


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Do'Rakk the Brawler Backstory & Biography
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Post #77938
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Likes Given: 26
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Daggerfall Covenant (Orc)
Haha I was in a Rush when I was doing it. I will try and correct it as soon as I can.


Ogrug- Orc Warrior Son of Bludghul
Heceril- Altmer Vampire Lord
Frelav- Nord Werewolf
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