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Arener Moorwing (feedback appreciated)


Started by Arener
Post #128875
Member

Likes Given: 53
Likes Received: 56
Faction & Race:
Daggerfall Covenant
Breton
Firstname-Arener
Surname-Moorwing
Title-Dawncaster
Sex-Male

Class-Templar

Race-Breton on his mother's side and Redguard on his father's

Age-24

Occupation-Adventurer/Field Battlemage

Faction-Daggerfall Covenant

Appearance-He inherited the stout height and pale complexion of a Breton and the athletic frame of a Redguard. His hair is dark brown and he often keeps it at medium length with two braids on each side of his head pulled into a short ponytail at the back of his head. He has a full beard which he keeps well-kept and clean as it's one of the only physical possessions he can take pride in. His eyes are the color of steel, calm and calculating. Beneath his robes and armor you'll find a heavily scarred mid-section, a constant reminder of his encounter with the Dunmer

Personality-Arener prefers to draw as little attention to himself as possible. The last thing he wants is a confrontation as they can only lead to larger confrontations. Aside from that he is witty and quick thinking, always finding the easiest way out of sticky situation. If you manage to get him to talk, you might find that he's actually quite a nice fellow. But behind that, there's an anger, a burning fury struggling to be unleashed. The only thing that keeps it intact are his meditations.

Equipment-When not using magic, Arener relies on the scimitar, Sunnabe, gifted to him by his sword-master Waylas. This blade is sleek, and has a regal apperance, but is sharp enough to strike fear into his enemies. When out on a journey or on the field of battle, Arener adorns layered plate armor over his torso and heavy boots with a cloth hood to withstand any encounters that are up close and personal. But when resting within a city, he prefers light and simple robes.
The scimitar described can be found here and the armor is similar to the Redguard armor concept art on this page

Bio-It is the year 2E 565. Tensions between the newly formed alliances only grow as The Empire which had once binded them together slowly begins to crumble. In a small, nameless village just south of Jehenna, a boy of only 8 years of age, lived in peace with his mother, father, and several other small families. His father, being raised in Hammerfell, is a master of the blade. He trains Arener in the basic forms, keeping his ancient tradition alive. His mother is an excellent alchemist, so he would often aid her by finding the ingredients needed for her remedies. He lived a worry free life, until one night he heard his father speaking to his mother in hushed tones.
"We must go west. It isn't safe here anymore". His mother refused to listen, not willing to recognize the growing threat.

No more then a week after he overheard his fathers warning he was awoken in the night with a start. From outside he could hear screams of terror as an eerie glow entered through the window. He sat, watching as the glow grew brighter and more intense until the light occupied the entire space of his room. He stood, and slowly crept toward the window, curious as to what was creating such brilliance, but before he could reach the opening, his father burst into the room with a look of horror in his eyes and sword in hand. Without uttering a single word, he grabbed Arener and sprinted outside, where he left him in his mother's open arms. Arener could see now. The village was being attacked by a Nordic raiding band led by a single Dunmer adorned in ebony robes. For a moment Arener’s eyes met with those of the Dunmer. They glowed terribly, as red as the depths of Oblivion. Fire stretched toward the sky, as if in an attempt to devour the stars themselves. They engulfed Arener’s vision, blinding him with burning light. His mother turned and started to run away from the village along with most of his neighbors. Arener turned to look behind him, expecting his father to be following close behind. Instead he saw his father charging towards the Nordic savages. In a flurry of blades and clashing of steel he managed to defeat a many of the assailants. For a moment it seems that victory was his, but as he turned to pursue the other villagers, he was engulfed in fire. Arener listened as his father unleashed one final scream of agony, and died before his very eyes.

Arener and the other refugees sought out sanctuary in Evermore where they were welcomed with open arms. His mother became cold and bitter, often verbally abusing her still young child. One day Arener returned to his house after school to find her lying on her bed clasping an empty vial. She always was an excellent alchemist

He could longer afford to go to school, or obtain food, or new clothes. He moved into the local orphanage and took to begging on the streets, hoping to gain the empathy of passers-by. At night he is plagued with nightmares and at the sight of a flame his memory flashes back to the flames swallowing the sky, his father's screams ringing through the air, and he enters a state of panic, sometimes resulting in seizures. He had nearly given up hope when a girl from the same village as him named Ellara convinced her parents to take him in. In the following months, Arener and Ellara grow very close and spend most of their together. They shared a bond that could not be broken and, at times, he thought he never wanted to leave her. But as he clambered up the newly built city walls and gazed onto the plains and mountains, he couldn't help but desire more.

At the age of 18 Arener was eager to join the army of the Covenant, but his "adopted" parents deny him acceptance. For days he thinks to himself, pondering what is truly important in his life and finally comes to a decision. Before his departure, Arener writes a letter for Ellara explaining to her why he has to do this, and then leaves, planning to go to Hammerfell, his father’s homeland, for training. The first step in his journey is Wayrest, the Seat of The Daggerfall Covenant. Never before had Arener seen something so grand and spectacular as the city of Wayrest. The streets bustled with townsfolk, and shops and inns stretched as far as the eye could see, offering anything from cryptic scrolls to fine armors, a particular set of which, caught his eye. It was a sturdy set of steel, the color of the purest silver and shone like the moons in the night sky, overlaid a royal blue cloth. But, alas, he had only brought enough gold to gain passage on a trading ship to Sentinel.

After a short and rather nauseating trip, Arener reached his ultimate destination, but a new challenge confronts Arener. Though High Rock and Hammerfell were now allies in the Covenant, The Crowns old traditions still endure. Most masters reject his cry for instruction and some go as far as forbidding him from seeking out such help anywhere else despite Arener's Redguard lineage. Seeing his quest as a lost cause, Arener prepares to leave and seek out the guidance he requires back in High Rock. At the docks of Sentinel, he is stopped by an old Redguard man named Waylas who has long been a strong supporter of The Forbears. Waylas takes it upon himself to train Arener in swordplay. But these teaching were not just simple sparring exercises, no. He needed intellect, endurance, and wisdom in order to pass these tests. Waylas pushed Arener far beyond what he thought capable, making him infinitely stronger than ever before. But while Waylas was strict, and relentless, he cared for Arener and his well-being. In time, Arener saw him as a father figure, as a guide, and as a friend. For four years Arener drills himself in the various Redguard techniques for, pushing his physical boundaries farther then he thought imaginable. At the peak of his skill and ability, Arener decides he wants to go through the Redguard rite of passage and survive on his own in the Alik'r desert. Waylas is weary of this idea, but he does not intervene.

For the most part, Arener endured the wastes of the desert, though his nightmares still recur. About six months after Arener first entered the desert, he is confronted by a small group of Redguards going through the trials. They threaten Arener and demand that he give up his supplies. The leader of the group steps forward and attempts to attack Arener, but Arener uses magic in a moment of panic to kill him. Foreigners using magic is punishable by execution, in Hammerfell, especially if used to "murder". Arener then returns to Waylas for help. Waylas tells him to go back to High Rock and hone his magical abilities. Arener begs Waylas to join him but Waylas tells him that his path is his own. Before departing, Waylas gives Arener his scimitar, Sunnabe, and dons him with silver war-paint symbolizing the completion of his training.

After traversing back to High Rock and into the realm of Shornhelm, Arener joins the newly formed Mages Guild. Under their guidance Arener unlocks magical abilities which he had never before known of. He took a particular liking to the branch of Alteration, frequently turning stones into gems or, on occasion, candies. His studies were going by with ease, until he participated in a class which delved into the branch of Destruction magic. His instructor had conjured himself a cloak of fire, at the sight of which, Arener set into a panic attack. He fell to the ground and began convulsing, unable to control his fear. He prepared for the waves of pain which were sure to come, but they never did. He later awoke in the Guild infirmary, and found the Master of Restoration at his bedside. She explained explained to him that she had stopped his seizure before it could do any real damage. In the following weeks he would go to her for lessons in meditation, overcoming his fear of flames and ridding himself of nightmares.

After two years The Alliance Wars break out, pitting the Covenant against the other factions of Tamriel. It is at this point that Arener concludes his training and enlists in the war. Not long after, he encounters the Dunmer who had led the raid on his village on the field of battle. The Dunmer escapes the battle but Arener tracks him to an Ebonheart Pact outpost. He confronts the Dunmer and prepares to take revenge. It is then that he discovers that the Dunmer is actually a vampire lord, "blessed" with immense power by Molag Bal in exchange for eternal servitude. The Dunmer takes on his true and horrible vampiric form, shrouded in ember and ash. The sight of the smoking veil causes a panic to arise in Arener's chest. His meditations were failing him, and he was unable to fend off the attack. Claws sank into his flesh and fire burned his skin as the vampire wildly trashed at his body. Pain flooded his senses and the world spun around him. In his last moments of life he witnessed a hand plunge into his chest as his soul is offered up as sacrifice to the Daedric Prince of Domination.

Gasping for breath, Arener then finds himself back in the hands of the Covenant. He feels weak, empty, and asks the healer what happened. He is told he was found in the dungeon of the outpost when it was assaulted and had been in a stupor for at least a month. It is at this point that Arener realizes he has failed. He has lost everything. His home, his family, and now his own humanity. All have been taken from him by a single Dunmer. In the name of Stendarr, Arener promised that the sins of the wretched would not go unpunished. He would redeem himself.

Best Memory-Being adopted by Ellara's family

Worst Memory-His village being attacked and his father dying

Skills-Ra Gada style swordplay and a variety of magic

Challenges-Nightmares, panic attacks, surviving in the A'likr

Birthsign-The Lord

Religious Views-As a child Arener was exposed to the excessive religion of the Bretons, learning of the Eight Divines along side the Old Aldmeri pantheon, and while training with Waylas he was taught of the old gods of Yokuda. These varying beliefs often confused Arener, leaving him unsure of where to seek aid from the divine. It was only after he began his meditations with the Master of Restoration in the Mages Guild that he truly felt a connection to Stendarr, and through their joined teachings that he conquered his inner demons.

I plan on turning this into a short story so some constructive criticism would be appreciated. Thanks for reading!
This post was last modified: March 1st 2014, 02:19 PM by Arener


"To every man upon this earth
Death cometh soon or late.
And how can man die better
Than facing fearful odds,
For the ashes of his fathers,
And the temples of his Gods."
— The Lays of Ancient Rome
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Post #128876
Member

Likes Given: 190
Likes Received: 165
Faction & Race:
Ebonheart Pact
Nord
It is always best to avoid placing your character close to a figure enshrined in the lore, assuming the sage in your bio is this guy. He could become the apprentice of any nameless breton mage without this problem.

Also, TESO begins in 2E 582, at which point your character is only 8.

Apart from that, it seems to be the traditional story form, traumatic event as a child, misfortune before meeting a teacher, learning the arts of swordplay and magic, seeking revenge. Personally I'm something of a fan of such stock themes if they are done in an interesting way. His panic attacks should add an interesting flavor to RP. A couple of final points, perhaps separate out the subheadings, since its otherwise one massive paragraph. Also, he is half breton and half Redguard, but which does he appear to be at first glance? Does his appearance make him feel out of place, ie a Redguard studying magic, or a Breton in the A'likr?




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Post #129048
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Likes Given: 53
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Faction & Race:
Daggerfall Covenant
Breton
(December 24th 2013, 05:24 PM)Thorfinn Wrote: It is always best to avoid placing your character close to a figure enshrined in the lore, assuming the sage in your bio is this guy. He could become the apprentice of any nameless breton mage without this problem.

Also, TESO begins in 2E 582, at which point your character is only 8.

Apart from that, it seems to be the traditional story form, traumatic event as a child, misfortune before meeting a teacher, learning the arts of swordplay and magic, seeking revenge. Personally I'm something of a fan of such stock themes if they are done in an interesting way. His panic attacks should add an interesting flavor to RP. A couple of final points, perhaps separate out the subheadings, since its otherwise one massive paragraph. Also, he is half breton and half Redguard, but which does he appear to be at first glance? Does his appearance make him feel out of place, ie a Redguard studying magic, or a Breton in the A'likr?
I've effectively removed The Sage from my bio and fixed the timeline up a bit. He does appear Breton at first glance, so that brings up the conflict with The Crowns which I put into the story. Lastly, you said you're a fan of stock themes if done in an interesting way. Do you think it's interesting enough as is, and if not, do you have any tips on how I could make it interesting?


"To every man upon this earth
Death cometh soon or late.
And how can man die better
Than facing fearful odds,
For the ashes of his fathers,
And the temples of his Gods."
— The Lays of Ancient Rome
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Post #129275
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Likes Given: 190
Likes Received: 165
Faction & Race:
Ebonheart Pact
Nord
(December 26th 2013, 01:01 PM)Arener Wrote: I've effectively removed The Sage from my bio and fixed the timeline up a bit. He does appear Breton at first glance, so that brings up the conflict with The Crowns which I put into the story. Lastly, you said you're a fan of stock themes if done in an interesting way. Do you think it's interesting enough as is, and if not, do you have any tips on how I could make it interesting?

Interest will come from the portrayal of your character through RP, but there are some things in the bio to develop and make use of in RP that should make it fairly easy. I like the edits, a final thing to consider is the name. Arener isn't a typical Breton name. Of course there are exceptions to cultural naming practices, but its perhaps something to consider.




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Post #129497
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Likes Given: 53
Likes Received: 56
Faction & Race:
Daggerfall Covenant
Breton
(December 27th 2013, 04:50 PM)Thorfinn Wrote: Interest will come from the portrayal of your character through RP, but there are some things in the bio to develop and make use of in RP that should make it fairly easy. I like the edits, a final thing to consider is the name. Arener isn't a typical Breton name. Of course there are exceptions to cultural naming practices, but its perhaps something to consider.
Arener is the name I've been giving my TES characters for years now. It might not be the most lore friendly but it's a sort of tradition I have


"To every man upon this earth
Death cometh soon or late.
And how can man die better
Than facing fearful odds,
For the ashes of his fathers,
And the temples of his Gods."
— The Lays of Ancient Rome
Like this post Reply




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