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Bludghul-gro-Khazor the birth of a Beserker


Started by Plague_Walrus
Post #61173
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(Morning Star, Tirdas, 11.45pm, 2E 554, Bludghul is born to the Chiefs second wife in a small clan near Orsinium. But this story will happen when Bludghul is 20)

Frostfall, Fredas, 5:06am, 2E 574- Bludghul had woken up early and was standing on top of the fortress walls, looking at the mountainous scenery below him. Snow had fallen overnight and was still falling in large flakes onto his smooth grey skin, melting instantly. A cold wind blew making his long jet black hair fly loose and his sky blue eyes burn. His sideburns now filled with snow flakes making it shine in the dim winter morning sun light. He wore fur armor made of mountain wolf pelts that covered half his body yet he wore no shoes, his bare feet sticking into the snow, bringing a burning sensation, it was a long tradition of his clan that on this day he would not wear shoes in the morning. His father the Orc chief Khazor-gro-Gogron had passed on in the night leaving Bludghul and his brother Ushul to fight for the title of chief. Bludghul loved his brother dearly, yet he was destined to kill him or to die by his hands today. Bludghul's thoughts were uninterrupted by a too familiar voice. He turned around to see his brother with the same facial expression as himself. " A good day to die don't you think brother?" Ushul says, a wide smile appearing as he walks next to Bludghul to observe the mountains. Bludghul took in the scene more. Mountains covered in shining snow and in the valley below a Breton village that was semi hidden by fog. They stood quietly looking at the Breton village coming to life as miners did their perilous journey into their mines. " A good day indeed" Bludghul responds finally without satisfaction. Bludghul was older than Ushul even though Ushul was born to the chiefs first wife, where as Bludghul was born to the second.
" Today even Malacath will look upon our battle. It's Frostfall the summoning time for Malacath. The shaman says the victor will be honored highly." Ushul says smiling up at Bludghul. Bludghul did not respond but instead walked to the smithy, leaving his brother by himself on the wall.

The sun had risen fully now peeking ever so lightly through the thick grey clouds. Bludghul had already created the Orihalcum plates that would cover the leather and the nails to keep the metal and the leather together. He began to nail the metal to the leather to keep them from falling off. He had completed his armor. It still looked like the Orcish armor a little less bulky but was fairly light. He had not been taught how to hold a shield properly but his father told him he would be a great beserker one day. That day had not yet come but he could not deny he was good at attacking but not defending. He poured Orihalcum into two axe molds. Then beating them into shape giving them a savage look he left them out to cool enjoying a rest in the long house not wanting to talk to his brother. He was ready by dusk. His mother wished him well and they said their good byes as if for the last time while she helped him put on his armor.

Bludghul now stood in the fortress arena facing opposite his brother. He took in his surroundings. It was dark the sun had set but every torch in the fortress was now surrounding the arena, most of them held by an orc spectator. Every Orc of the clan was here to watch. The shaman stood away from the circle near a statue of Malacath chanting and rubbing troll fat onto the statue. The snow had intensified and with it a strong cold wind blew the mountains and the fortress. Bludghul's eyes met his opponents. His brother was wearing the heaviest thing he could find. Heavy Orcish Armor A shield and a mace. The shaman raises her hands in a trance signalling for the battle to commence. Bludghul put on his helmet which lowered his vision and stepped into the arena. Ushul did the same. Ushul was first to attack charging in with the mace successfully hitting Bludghul on the left shoulder making his left hand limp and unusable. He dropped one axe. Ushul stood waiting for Bludghul to get up. Bludghul got up but still did not feel angry enough to start a rage or even hurt his brother who had grown up with him. " Strike me brother or I will finish you without a fight." Ushul grunted. Bludghul stood up only to be charged again getting a mace to the stomach which winded him. Bludghul got up again, this time the rage in him taking over. Nostrils flared Bludghul attacked multiple times striking Ushul one handed his other hand limp. Ushul blocked one strike the others his armor took the damage. Ushul sheild bashed Bludghul to the face. Bludghul was on the floor once again. He got up fully in rage, unable to control himself he pounced upon Ushul aiming for the weak spots in his armor. Blood sprayed as Bludughul cut deep into flesh. Ushul unable to react or defend with his shield took the damage trying to take a finishing by getting a head shot with his mace. But Bludghul was quicker moving out of the way his left shoulder took another hit from the mace but that was the last. Bludghul in his rage cut at Ushuls throat hitting it directly. Blood poured out from Under Ushuls armor as he fell to the floor. Bludghul his rage forgotten dropped his axe and kneeled next to his brother taking off Ushuls helmet to look at his living face one last time. " You did well brother *cough* you deserve to rule our clan. Do it with an iron fist and we will continue to prosper." With those words thrown to the wind he closed his eyes and let out his last breath. " Malacath take you Brother". The shaman now out of her trance walked over to Bludghul helping him up. Bludghul fainted falling to the snow next to his brother.

Bludghul woke up in the long house on the largest bed his arm held together by furs. He dressed into his clothes and walked outside. All was peaceful a weak wind blew. Only a thick layer of snow and the sound of fir trees was all the Bludghul sensed. Bludghul stood on the same spot he stood yesterday looking at his mountains. The Breton village in the valley below waking up to a new day not even suspecting what their mountain neighbors done the night before. Bludghul took in a deep breath and sat in the seat overlooking his domain.
This post was last modified: April 22nd 2013, 03:58 AM by Plague_Walrus


Ogrug- Orc Warrior Son of Bludghul
Heceril- Altmer Vampire Lord
Frelav- Nord Werewolf
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Post #61176
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Pretty cool story, I like how he and his brother's love for each other shows even in the heat of battle and as one's last breath. Although I would say sometimes it's hard to keep track of one's place due to a lack of paragraphs, but that's about it.


Tyrvan Southpaw - a Nordic Skaal hunter
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Post #61179
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I blame my excellent English/grammar skills =D


Ogrug- Orc Warrior Son of Bludghul
Heceril- Altmer Vampire Lord
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Post #61191
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Actually I couldnt even tell that English isnt your first language, you did very well in that aspect. All I'm saying is spacing out the story with some paragraphs would make it make it easier to read.


Tyrvan Southpaw - a Nordic Skaal hunter
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(April 20th 2013, 12:22 AM)Tyrvan Wrote: Actually I couldnt even tell that English isnt your first language, you did very well in that aspect. All I'm saying is spacing out the story with some paragraphs would make it make it easier to read.

oh okay thanks I should probably do that.


Ogrug- Orc Warrior Son of Bludghul
Heceril- Altmer Vampire Lord
Frelav- Nord Werewolf
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Post #61333
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Certainly pretty good for someone with English as a second language! I could see from the story that Bhudghul was troubled about what he must do both before and after the battle. It wasn't something that he could easily avoid, and he knew that no matter the outcome that things would feel much different afterwards.

Tyrvan is of course right about how a bit of spacing might make things a bit clearer-- but that's a simple quick fix!


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(April 20th 2013, 03:44 PM)Horizon Seeker Wrote: Certainly pretty good for someone with English as a second language! I could see from the story that Bhudghul was troubled about what he must do both before and after the battle. It wasn't something that he could easily avoid, and he knew that no matter the outcome that things would feel much different afterwards.

Tyrvan is of course right about how a bit of spacing might make things a bit clearer-- but that's a simple quick fix!

Thanks. I have updated it now and spaced it out more.


Ogrug- Orc Warrior Son of Bludghul
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Post #61481
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Great story but as Tyrvan said spacing would be much appreciated.


The two worst strategic mistakes to make are acting prematurely and letting an opportunity slip; to avoid this, the warrior treats each situation as if it were unique and never resorts to formula, recipes or other people's opinions.
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I like it, but add me to the list of people claiming more paragraphs ;)

I would like to say, that it could seem a little unrealistic, even for an orc who are said to be the greatest smiths, to craft in one single morning a whole set of armor and two axes o_O

Maybe he already had smithed the stuff and now just sharpens the axes´ blades? Just my suggestion ;)


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Post #61566
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(April 22nd 2013, 02:00 AM)Idriar Wrote: I like it, but add me to the list of people claiming more paragraphs ;)

I would like to say, that it could seem a little unrealistic, even for an orc who are said to be the greatest smiths, to craft in one single morning a whole set of armor and two axes o_O

Maybe he already had smithed the stuff and now just sharpens the axes´ blades? Just my suggestion ;)


Yeah I was thinking that myself when I was typing that certain area. I will by all means adjust it to be more realistic. Your suggestions and queries have been noted thank you very much for providing them =) Well I have updated it so check it out when you have the time.
This post was last modified: April 22nd 2013, 03:58 AM by Plague_Walrus


Ogrug- Orc Warrior Son of Bludghul
Heceril- Altmer Vampire Lord
Frelav- Nord Werewolf
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Post #61570
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You´re welcome! Feedback should always be constructive ;)


Who controls the Septim crown?
Who keeps the Allesian Heresy down?
We do, we do

Who knocked Yokuda off the maps?
Who keeps the Dwemer under wraps?
We do, we do

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