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Danaris the Sorceress


Started by Danaris
Post #60953
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Likes Given: 11
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Faction & Race:
Aldmeri Dominion (Bosmer)
Firstname - Danaris
Surname - Pernelle
Title - Sorceress
Sex - Female
Age - 23
Occupation -
Faction - Aldmeri Dominion
Appearance - Petite figure, ivory skin, black hair, dark green-brown eyes.
Personality - Danaris has been known to be quite firm and strong in many of her decisions whether not she has thought them through or not. She has showed much compassion to those in need. She is firm and usually looking out for her best interest. She can be quite outgoing and quite kind in certain cases but few tend to see this side of her. She remains guarded and lets very few get close to her. She is a very curious wood elf.
Social Background/Backstory - Danaris Pernelle was born in Valenwood; her father was part of the Bosmer King Aeradan's guard. She was raised with many luxuries due to her fathers position. Her mother was a tailor though she didn't need to be. Soon after the Colovians invaded Danaris and family moved from Valenwood due to her fathers sickness; attempting to seek help from Altmer mages at the arcane university though there was nothing that her mother could do to help. Her mother fell into a deep depression leaving Danaris to make her own choices; her father passed at the age of 11. Fascinated with magicka and that the mages couldn't find a way to cure her father she asked to join the arcane university a few years later. Due to her fathers position in the guard the bosmer King Aeradan wrote a letter in her fathers name to accept young Danaris into the university at the age of 12. She was determined to find a way to heal and bring back the ones she loved. She was the one bosmer at the university besides a caretaker Illandriss that provided her with the comforts of home; he reminded her of her father and took on that role while she trained. She was picked on by many of her Altmer peers as being "the witch from the woods;" this only pushed her harder into her studies of conjuration and destruction. On her 23rd birthday a teacher sought her out in a class whom she was not fond of at all. He found it strange a bosmer studying magic when she should be wearing furs and shooting arrows; he let her know this almost daily. He placed a task upon her that she was no where near ready for. She was asked go to a shrine of Azura and attempt to retrieve Azura's star; this changed Danaris' path for good. As she was packing her bags to go she decided that she was packing to leave and not return. As she was leaving she encountered the old bosmer, " If you do go to that shrine be sure to pray she will help you find your way." He said farewell to Danaris.

Danaris then set out to the shrine of Azura in search of answers.
(this is where all her journeys begin as she sets out for the Shrine of Azura.)

Favorite Memory - Saying farewell to the university and starting on her path of adventuring.
Worst Memory - Seeing what happened to her mother after her father had passed away; she fell into a deep depression.
Skills - Conjuration and Destruction have become skills Danaris always tends to rely on though she is skilled in most forms of magic.
Challenges for the Character - Challenges consist of Danari's ability to rely and trust others. She became hard skinned at the university. She prefers to works alone and at times this can be her downfall.
Birthsign The Lover
Religious Views Danaris grew up with no formal religion.
Politics Views Danaris has stood by the decisions of Queen Aryenn; she is a full supporter of the Aldmeri Dominion.
This post was last modified: April 24th 2013, 05:53 PM by Danaris
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The following 2 users Like Danaris's post:
Archmage Alator, quib
Post #60961
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Likes Given: 470
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Faction & Race:
Ebonheart Pact (Argonian)
Hail Danaris the Sorceress! Welcome to the RP forums! i've noticed that it seems you have been fitting in rather well, i hope thats the case ^-^
Now lets see what we can say about your character shall we. first thing i notice is that your bio is very short, now i'm usually one for short bios but this has lead to another issue, that issue being everything that happens to your character appears out of the blue! Your character works with the Queen herself! she's a high born, she grew up worshipping the daedra, her parents die and she has witnessed a village get ransacked by warewolves! wow a lot has happend! but because it is so small these major event haven't been explained enough and leaves me confused and wanting.

First things first, your not the first to do so, so don't worry in this regard but i would not make your character best friends with Queen Ayrenn or any major character infact. the reason for this being is that there is a very fine line of how you can approach this in the RPing scene. it can also be frowned upon D:. But don't worry you have many other aspects here that can make a truly interesting character! Now she is a high born and worships Daedra! that is cool but we can expand of this. How did she come to worshipping the Daedric princes? she has done (or believed she has done) work for the Prince of dusk and dawn Azura! has Azura made Danaris do something she regrets? who else knows that she is a Daedra whorshipper? (hint hint: if i were you i would make it that your character tries to keep this fact a secrete from her loved ones! it will cause tension and will be a challenge for your character ^-^).

Another thing that i see too often is when the only time someone mentions their parents in there bio is when they die. i know its a quick way to show that life hasn't been all that great for your character but the reader won't feel empathy for your character unless you make them care for characters parents, maybe tell us what they meant to her? or some of the things they have done for her?

Your worst memory is seeing a village getting raided by werewolves! now i don't really have an issue with this, it is that this totally comes out of the blue :P and it must be pretty bad if this memory is worse than the death of your parents! maybe some explanation of the cause of the attack and explain why it is so terrible! does your character have nightmares of the event maybe?

Overall i can see a lot of potential to this character! and i would like to see this one become something we all can be proud of! i hope my feed back didn't seem to harsh :c but i do hope you take some of it on board ^-^


Quib - Argonian Adventurer
Garce Tilvvan - Dunmer Witch Hunter
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Post #60963
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Likes Given: 11
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Aldmeri Dominion (Bosmer)
No It is all appreciated! I will be sure to do some major edits. I should have put more time into it. I was trying to make less be known about her until I truly figure out what paths I will want to take her in. All very great feedback and I got some work to do.
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The following 1 user likes Danaris's post:
quib
Post #60967
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Ebonheart Pact (Argonian)
Very good ^-^, when ever you update a character or create anything on the RP forums whether it be character or stories you can always ask for feedback on the feedback request thread by Horizon Seeker, http://www.tesof.com/topic-the-feedback-request-thread we are a friendly bunch so never be shy when asking for feedback ^-^.
I've also made a thread that tries to help people with character creation http://www.tesof.com/topic-character-scenarios . its basically a bunch of question you answer in your characters shoes.
well i hope that helps, good luck with your character ^-^


Quib - Argonian Adventurer
Garce Tilvvan - Dunmer Witch Hunter
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Post #60997
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Aldmeri Dominion (Bosmer)
OK I hope I did much better!
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Post #61008
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Daggerfall Covenant (Orc)
Ah a true mage. Good job.


Ogrug- Orc Warrior Son of Bludghul
Heceril- Altmer Vampire Lord
Frelav- Nord Werewolf
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Post #61052
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Daggerfall Covenant (Breton)
Nice char. Good job :D


The Archmage of the council of Arcanea.

We are openly recruiting, any Roleplayers in the Covenant who are looking for a Guild, this is the Guild for you http://www.tesof.com/topic-the-council-o...ying-guild
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Post #61057
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Ebonheart Pact (Argonian)

I dont like Characters that interact with Daedric Princes before a game even rolls out. Neither do i like overly Heroic feats.
And Azuras star is a major one.
Id reconsider that.
Also she doesnt sound very bosmer to me.
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Post #61060
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Dont mind him you did a great character.


The Archmage of the council of Arcanea.

We are openly recruiting, any Roleplayers in the Covenant who are looking for a Guild, this is the Guild for you http://www.tesof.com/topic-the-council-o...ying-guild
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Post #61090
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Aldmeri Dominion (Bosmer)
I realize that his opinion is entitled to him but yes I am basing my character around this and if you do not like it that is your issue. Thank you for your opinion. Just because her race is bosmer doesn't mean she has to be sounding like a bosmer.

Also who said that she got the star?
This post was last modified: April 19th 2013, 10:18 AM by Danaris
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Post #61226
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Ebonheart Pact (Argonian)
ok i have read your updated bio, it is moving on nicely ^-^ we are starting to know more about Danaris the Sorceress, but i feel we have only scratched the surface. you say that she seeked mages to help cure her father, now how does she feel that these so called powerful mages couldn't help? why did she join the university if she saw at a young age when she saw how useless magic can be? or has she joined to show the other mages how its done? has she dabbled in necromancy?, making her a student in the university is an interesting choice but how did she get accepted? keep in mind she is only 23 so its either she is SUPER talented! or she has had help from people higher up (hint hint: i prefer the latter! and it would make sense because her father was part of the kings guard and it could be a reason for the others to treat her poorly). on being treat poorly, why is that the case? also on daedra, how did she come across them? and why does she accept a task from a daedric prince? daedra is a taboo subject among the masses so visiting a daedric prince isn't something common. but yes it is nice to she this character grow ^-^

try not to reject other peoples feedback so harshly, remember the issue that person points out, is an issue to that person. however you are right about feedback is the persons opinion and if you don't want to follow it, it is your choice and i for one wont feel insulted if you do so ^-^.

@Sordak you do make some valid points, but if you could expand on your feedback? like tell us why you don't like characters that interact with daedric princes before the game rolls out and why you don't like characters doing overly heroic feats. also on she character not being very bosmer like, point out which parts didn't seem very bosmer like to you and suggest how you think she could improve it ^-^. this might not only help Darais with her character but it could help other people reading this thread, i for one have made a character that will do a lot of work with the daedric princes so your feed back could help me aswell.


Quib - Argonian Adventurer
Garce Tilvvan - Dunmer Witch Hunter
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Post #61303
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You are right and I do apologize for my prompt comeback. Though a lot of your questions about my character I am yet to answer she is still developing for me as well. So I will do what I can when I have sometime to truly sit and think deeper about her story. Though I do not want to give a lot away about her. I do want her to remain quite mysterious but I see many of your points!
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Post #61307
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Yes it is important to keep some mystery about your character! well best of luck with Danaris ^-^, if you ever need any feedback or someone to just look through your character just ask on horizons Feedback request thread and i'm sure a bunch of us will be more than happy too ^-^. you could always look at other users characters, there are some brilliant ones on these forums, you may wish to give some of your own praise and/or feedback or maybe there might be an aspect of one character you see and it could help yours ^-^


Quib - Argonian Adventurer
Garce Tilvvan - Dunmer Witch Hunter
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Post #62139
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Aldmeri Dominion
Khajiit
Nice start to your character. I will withhold feedback for now, looks like quib has got you covered so far. I hope to read more if you decide to expand on it later.


Sugar + Water + Purple

Do'Shanji - Khajiit warrior
Roac Bellecot - Redguard farmer
Jaree-Tah - Argonian agent
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Post #62273
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(Oops forgot to like) I Think you have made your character very well. I wish i could make a this good char. "like" ;)


The Archmage of the council of Arcanea.

We are openly recruiting, any Roleplayers in the Covenant who are looking for a Guild, this is the Guild for you http://www.tesof.com/topic-the-council-o...ying-guild
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